Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Life can feel so serious and heavy these days, with all that is going on. Which is why I appreciate the “humor” emails that people periodically send me. Each time I get one of these emails, I am reminded of how humor has a sacred aspect to it: to snap us out of whatever funks we might be in, to strengthen our immunity to anxiety, to reconnect us to sources of creativity and hope, to ground us in our best selves.

Here’s a humor email I received the other day, with the subject line, “Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?” The writer signed off by saying, “Hope it makes you smile :-)”
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialog with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?
I know, I know. How “silly.” But did you know that the word “silly” comes from the Old English, which means “completely happy and blessed?” “Silly” was a blessing you wished upon those you loved. And that’s what I wish for you, in this season where things can feel so challenging and heavy.

A couple of things you’ll want to keep in mind for this November:

First, some items related to worship. Besides our wonderful music program, led by the marvelous Don Milton III, we have the following sermon topics coming up. On November 2 we continue our once/month sermon series on the nature of true happiness. The sermon is called “The Power of Perspective,” and it seems a timely enough topic with election day coming up on November 4. Later in the month we will be exploring some key challenges that we face in our families: caring for aging or ill parents, and dealing with relatives who are religiously intolerant. Also, be sure to come on November 23rd, when we celebrate the Thanksgiving holidays with a beautiful and moving “Breaking Bread Ritual.”

Second, after a fantastic Celebration Sunday, we continue to drive towards this year’s pledge goal of one million dollars. As I write this, we are more than halfway there, and I really believe it is possible for us. If you have not yet made your annual pledge, I encourage you to do so as soon as possible. Pledges are the main source of income for our congregation, so your generosity is key to ensuring that UUCA remains vital and strong. Invest generously in UUCA, and you are putting your money to work in a way that will change many lives. If you would like to speak with someone about this, or turn in your pledge, please look for the Stewardship table in the social hall during every Sunday this month. You can also make your pledge online.

And now, back to some more “Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road”:
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks!

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Hope it makes you smile :–)